Me: I need to delete my toes.

Hubby: Delete your toes?

Me: You know, erase them. Change the polish.

Hubby: You mean undo.

Me: Yeah, yeah. Undo. That’s non-destructive editing.

(In my defense, I was half asleep when this conversation took place.)

Daughter, standing in front of an east-facing window with full morning sun: Mom, look at this.

Me: My eyes are exposing for the window behind you and you’re too dark. I can’t see it.

(In my defense, I hadn’t yet put in my contacts.)

I looked in the mirror one day and my eye was bloodshot, and I thought, “Oh, I can fix that in Photoshop.” When Adobe makes a real-life adjustment brush, I wish they’d let me know.

Do you ever say or think crazy things like this?

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