[This post was originally published at (in)courage and also submitted to the Tide Loads of Hope for the Holidays carnival at Blog Nosh Magazine.]
I’d like to share with you the homeschooling tale of our 18-year-old son, the most difficult child I’ve ever taught. It’s a story of hope, the lessons that both my son and I learned along the way, and the rewards at the end of the journey. I think there’s a little bit of truth in it for all of us…
Humility
As a homeschooling mother of eight, lots of undeserved pats on the back come my way. “I don’t know how you do it,” is something I hear on a weekly, if not daily, basis. My 18-year-old son has always had the ability to see right through me. Through his eyes, my every fault and insufficiency is laid bare.
I am not a “super” homeschooling mom.
Obligation
Homeschool involves obligation; you must be committed to your child’s education. From the beginning, my son wouldn’t sit down and do his work. Once my back was turned, he was gone.
Although a bright child—he made up his own language, which he could read and write; was good with numbers; and loved to read—I always felt like a failure because year after year would pass with largely unfinished curricula.
I’ll never forget the day I was in tears, begging him to just “do school,” when he looked at me and said, “Mom, I’m learning.” Although my instincts told me that he was right, I still struggled with the need for visible proof: graded papers, completed workbooks.
When the scores arrived from his junior year PSAT, they were less than I’d hoped. Depressed, I never showed them to my husband or son.
Patience
When senior year came this past fall, a sense of urgency possessed my son as he realized how much ground must be covered in order to graduate. At first I tried to keep up with him, but soon we both lost patience: it just wasn’t working with a house full of other kids. I quit trying to make him adapt to our school schedule, so he usually studied well into the night and slept in the next morning.
He had become a schooling machine, so I just assigned him the work he needed to complete and he handled it on his own. Truly, he schooled himself for his senior year. We didn’t schedule the SAT until March when Geometry was finally finished; he did 2 1/2 years worth of math in one school year.
This time the scores were good.
My son has been accepted to a respected university. Because of our late start in the application process, housing wasn’t available for fall, so he’ll begin in the spring. For now, he’s working at my husband’s office and just enjoying the freedom of being out of school.
I’m enjoying the sense of completion.
Encouragement
If you’re a homeschooling mother, have a difficult student, or are just in a tough spot right now I hope this story encourages you. Although I’ve told scores of women that “God has a plan for your child and you won’t mess it up,” there were many days when I didn’t believe it in my own heart. Not for this child.
While I was teaching my son, God was teaching me. Although it’s not my nature, I had to be patient for years—years of trusting that we really were doing the right thing in spite of discouragement.
Ultimately, the Lord is always faithful. Trust his leading in your child’s education, your family, all of your life, and put your hope in Him.
“I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.” ~ Psalms 130:5
I just wanted to say thanks for a great post. I think every homeschool mum of many has one student she thinks is a tougher nut than the others… “And nobody could be as tough as their one.” It is so good to know that these chaps make it through!!!
Thank you for this encouragement. I am a homeschooler wanna be. Because of our situation, it is not possible. I am a single mom of three, the sole support finacially, physically, and emotionally. And although I no longer attend church I do believe in God. Your referrance to Psalm 130:5 has quenched a spot in my heart. I too have a bright child who marches to the beat of her own drum. I am constantly reminded that I have to step back and let be… to trust that He as a plan. Its not mine but I have to trust that it is good for her if not for me.
Oh, thank you so much for posting this. Our children aren’t too difficult, individually, but the WHOLE thing is often difficult. It sometimes overwhelms me and I wonder if I’m going to completely mess them up. It is always encouraging to read the wise words from a mama who has completed the journey, successfully.
~ Lori Seaborg
(psst, I met you in the van on the way to the airport from Blissdom ’09).
What a perfect post!
.-= Secret Agent Mama´s last blog ..We Have Nothing But Everything to Give =-.
I **think** I commented before but if not, I know I read this :).
I love how you weave a message of “hope” throughout this post. You’ve offered words of encouragement to those who’ve walked a similar path as you, friend.
Great job :).
.-= Robin ~ PENSIEVE´s last blog ..Hope, full =-.
How lovely was this!! I so deeply appreciate hearing from moms with older kids to keep the hope and faith and believe I will not mess up their plan. I love the way you shaped this , breaking down and building up the important things, showing how struggles produce triumphs, and reminding us that off the beaten path is still a valuable route.
.-= Julie Pippert´s last blog ..How the holidays fill me with loads of hope =-.
Dawn, I so admire mothers who homeschool. Thank you for sharing part of your journey – and your HOPE – with us! 🙂
Dawn, I just ran across this post tonight when I needed to hear this! Thank you!!
.-= Amy @ Cheeky Cocoa Beans´s last blog ..Well, at least he’s developing study skills =-.