I‘ve found that there are situations I simply don’t know how to handle unless I’ve been there myself. I never knew how to comfort a woman who’d miscarried a child until it happened to me. Because my mother spent many years using a cane, I’ve learned to treat people with canes or wheelchairs like everyone else, not avoiding eye contact or conversation out of awkwardness or not knowing what to say. I’ve been blessed with eight wonderfully healthy children and my experience with special needs children is limited; subsequently, this is one of those areas where I’m not particularly comfortable or confident in my ability to say or do the right thing.
Last year a family moved across the street from us with a special needs child. Hannah can’t run and play outside with the other kids. She doesn’t laugh and tell silly stories. Her mother pushes her in a stroller which supports her head and neck. Did I reach out to this family and befriend this mother and child? No, I’m ashamed to say that in my inadequacy and unfamiliarity with this kind of situation, I didn’t.
A few weeks ago, my 3- and 5-year-old started going over to Hannah’s house to play. Then my 7- and 10-year-old started going, too. I have no disillusionment where my children are concerned: I know they are moochers, and will eat any and all snacks, gum, popsicles, etc. that they can get their hands on. I worried that they were taking advantage of Hannah’s family.
What I didn’t see was that they were making friends with a child who couldn’t go out and make friends on her own. They go to Hannah’s house and paint and play; they tell me funny stories of how Hannah sighs when she doesn’t like something and sways with joy when she does. When my 7-year-old daughter described how they dance with Hannah, her body supported in a special walker which holds her almost upright, I was so choked up I could hardly speak.
This morning 3 of my children accompanied Hannah and her family to a special showing of Ratatouille for special needs children, their friends, and family. Ironing out the details on the phone yesterday, her mother told me what a blessing the children’s visits have been. This is the first time attending a movie for Hannah. If all goes well, a trip to Dairy Queen for ice cream will follow. Anticipation of this outing has been one of the highlights of the week in our household.
We all have infirmities. Some are just more visible than others.
We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.
~ Romans 15:1-2
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful story. You left me with a lump in my throat and tears forming. I’m amazed at the innocent acceptance through the eyes of children. Yours are certainly a blessing.
Sounds like your kids know how to be great friends!
And are learning what hospitality is all about. 🙂
Sandy
Maybe you didn’t reach out, but through your children you did. You are a blessing to them just as they are a blessing to you and Hannah. You are a wonderful mother and that is why your children did such a wonderful thing by looking past Hannah’s disabilities. Instead they looked at her abilities and made a friend.
Thanks for opening up your heart and sharing this with us.
God Bless,
Amber
How wonderful that your children represented your family well even when you were unable to know how to be friends with the neighbor child…I have been through a similar thing. Our neighbors have an autistic child. she used to get upset when others came around but that didn’t bother my kiddoes like it did me. They made friends with her and her 6 siblings and now her mother and I are friends too! 🙂
PS. Loved the post about the teenager…I have a couple in that age range…we’ve had some tough days here and there–and I have refused to cancel plans etc…just for the reason you stated. They shouldn’t have that much power! Hubby is sometimes ready to cancel and go home but I often attempt to persuade him otherwise.
That was an encouraging post.
My immediate response was how blessed Hannah is to know your children, Dawn. But then it hit me…your children are blessed to know her. No matter what our differences, we’re all still just people and the thing I love most about little children is that they don’t see the “differences.” The verse you chose for this post couldn’t be more perfect.
You are a blessed woman with such children, but that didn’t happen by accident either…may God continue to use you to shape your 8 into the people that He destined them to be, the very hands and feet of Jesus.
thanks for sharing your story- I was wishing your kids would come over 😉
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
You have me tearing up over hear after reading this. I hope the movie date goes well! I know being the mother of an Autistic child that alot of our neighborhood kids avoid our house because my son yells and makes all sorts of noises and movements, doesn’t always like to wear clothes, and is “different”. They knock on all of the doors and see who can come out to play but not on our door. Which is okay, because my boys have each other. It was so nice, then to hear your story! 🙂
I am so sorry you are SO sick – but ya know, skinny will be a great benefit when it’s all over 🙂 However, you look like you already are skinny so you’ll get to eat all you want for a week when its gone. I am always determined to find a blessing any suffering I have to do!
I wish I could bring you some homemade chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side – (I heard from Lysa that there is a rap song with those words – you should get her to sing it to you!)
Well, I’d bring you some soup if I were closer, but then again I’d have to get my mom to make that, too! She is the crafty one in our family. However, I can operate a can opener like you have never seen!
Hugs and prayers for you to feel better real soon! And yes, let’s do go to a movie next time I am in GA!
By the way, Lysa and I are speaking in Spartanburg, SC in Oct -how far is that for you? That would be SO fun to have you there!
Renee
I enjoy reading your blog and appreciate your repsonses to comments. I left an award for you on my blog. Please stop by to pick it up! 🙂
Your children are teachers for all of us!
http://www.southerness.blogspot.com
Oh my word I am so choked up. What a blessing ths is – you have obviously taught your children by your actions how to love others.
Sounds like your children have created a bridge between their mothers. :>) I feel a friendship in the near future.
If only we could always see people through the eyes of a child. Where do we lose that?
Sometimes, and only sometimes, our children are our best teachers. Beautiful story! Thanks!
Amy R.
What a treasure of a post Dawn. I was so blessed to read this when stopping by and it brought tears to my eyes 🙂
I also wanted to contact you with a blogging question ~ I no longer had your personal email so I hope you do not mind me leaving a note here. I would like to add a pink sidebar title (like my other ones) called “Our Curriculum” to my sidebar but can’t seem to figure out how? Any suggestions? Thanks so much!! Blessings!
Hey Dawn, just wanted to let you know that I’ve got another batch of contests going this week! Didn’t want you to miss out! :^D
I am a dad of two boys with autism, I look to your blog for current info! Thank You!