In the ten and a half years I’ve written for (in)courage, never have I thought so much about how the world in general — and admittedly my world in particular — could change between the day I submit my words and the day you read them.
Life under a shelter-at-home order feels a little like the five stages of grief but in no predictable order. My husband, children, and I seem to be in different stages at different times.
Our youngest daughter is firmly planted in stages one and two: denial and anger. At fourteen, I think her reaction stems from annoyance that her world has been turned upside down and from the fear she’s seen in me. The measures I take to clean groceries delivered to our home seem ridiculous and extreme to her. It must be unsettling to realize the people who’ve always protected you are no longer sure they can. If the coronavirus stood before her in tangible form, I have no doubt she would beat it senseless.
Our two other teens resort to something that resembles stage three: bargaining.
It reminds me of a typical parent/teen conversation: “Don’t worry, I won’t have an accident” — to which we reply, “No one plans to have an accident or they wouldn’t be called accidents.”
They think promising not to get too close to people will make everything okay and that their good intentions can protect them. They believe it too. And I have to be the one to remind them that the virus has infected lots of careful people with good intentions. I hate it.
Initially, I threw myself into isolation with the gusto of an Enneagram 3 who could buckle down and work without the distraction of outside commitments. I moved my blog to a new host. I started building a website for my new book. With no morning appointments, I easily slid deeper into my natural night owl tendencies.
Before long, I was staying up most of the night and having trouble sleeping. I worked a lot but desperately needed rest. As the days trickled by, I realized what really kept me awake at night: fear.
Please join me today at (in)courage for the rest of the story!