This week I read about a study where at bedtime participants were asked to think of three good things that happened to them that day and analyze why those things occurred. The results were better dreams and a higher overall sense of happiness. I’ll admit that there’s an excessive amount of secular, self-help, self-esteem-building psychology out there, but this study seems to validate something most of us know: we are happier when we count our blessings.
Last winter was a very dark time for me, psychologically and spiritually. Last summer we took a leap of faith and moved to a new area. There were many months of prayer and planning involved and we felt God’s hand in the matter. Unfortunately, sixteen months later, what we considered to be the primary objective of the move still hasn’t been achieved. I spent a lot of time missing my daddy (who lived eight miles from us before – now it’s eighty miles) and the friends I’d left. Mostly I just wondered, Why am I here?
The worst thing was that for seven months we owned two houses. I began to think the old house would never sell. I was so consumed by visions of our total ruin that I could hardly sleep at night. I began to question whether God had led us here or whether we had somehow imagined it all. The worst was that I began to doubt whether He was still watching out for us. I felt totally unworthy of the least of His blessings, and so I begged for mercy for our children’s sakes. I can’t remember a period in my adult life where I was so filled with fear and desperation.
The house finally sold; we’ve made lots of new friends and the kids are flourishing; we have absolutely amazing neighbors; we’ve learned how to get around in our new area; we love our new house. I’m still not sure why we’re here, but I trust that God does and He’ll reveal His plan in time. I’m not a patient person, but I’m learning.
When the weather turned cool this year, it brought back memories of last winter. We’re still dealing with some challenges but I know that the glass is not only half full, it’s overflowing.
I’m counting my blessings.
Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
I cried and smiled reading your post. God is so good.
Oh, how I can relate. Our last move (to NY) was one we felt was so God led…but we ended up wondering if we had imagined or “desired” it so much that it wasn’t God but us. After 2 years we found ourselves moving back south. I am not sure I will ever fully understand the “why” of us moving 1000 miles north and back again but I am sure God has a plan. Glad things are happier this year.
Great post! and very encouraging. I’m going through a bit of a dark time myself right now, and I appreciate your testimony! thank you for sharing.
The hard part about patience is wanting to know the reason for the plan when all we really need to know is Who makes the plans.
My pastor talked about this Wednesday night. He said that too often we’re like children who demand of their parents “Why?” rather than just doing what they are told. And what do parents say? “Because I said so!” Yet we expect God to explain His reasons. (Guilty as charged, your honor.)
I’m glad things are better for you this year. You said, “I know that the glass is not only half full, it’s overflowing.” So it is, my friend. God is good!
I can totally relate…I’m not depressed, but there is a lot I miss in Georgia–and I lot I don’t. I love my extended family here, and how my little family is so content being close to them. I love the schooling freedom I have this year and Classical Conversations. Many blessings to count, as you said! But I also miss my friends who were our family in Georgia, the “loose-ends” that still haven’t been tidied-up, so to speak. It all can seem so trivial when I see it typed in front of me, but it can wear on one, for sure. I’m thankful to hear that you are finding happiness and contentment with your new situation. I wish I had known more about what you were going through so I could have been a better sister!:)
Love,
Jolie
You hide your sadness well. I didn’t know you felt the same about being here as I do. We ARE blessed with good neighbors. I don’t know about your ER trip…yet. I’m sure Sabra will fill me in, but know that if you need anything, I’m always here
I read this post tearing up and remember quite well the struggles you went through, not only with the move…I was scared for you! You know, you were always there for us when we were making decisions like that!!! I am so thankful your house sold, but more than that, that you’re close to me! I would NEVER see you as much as I do if you were still on the other side of the world!! And the closer our girls get each week, I just LOVE that!!! And I LOVE you and count YOU among my BLESSINGS!!! You know your church family would never let you guys FALL, and its so comforting to know that you wouldn’t let us fall either! Isn’t that what church families are for?? I want a HUG right now!!!
I remember reading this the first time you posted it. You pointed me here again in your comment left at “My Quiet Corner”. I’m glad you did. Thanks for sharing so personally!